Tuesday, May 20, 2008

"Your son looks just like you"

…is a statement that cracks me up, and typically I don’t know how to respond b/c for the most part I don’t care to air my business to strangers.

People are constantly telling me that little J looks like me (or Jason and I, or just Jason). In fact, today little J’s bio grandma said people at her work commented that he looks like Jason. He’s a big flirt and gets attention from strangers who always comment.

Not only that, for the last several years people have also told me that Andrew looks just like me. I have a photo of the 3 of us at my office and generally every single person who picks it up to look at it ends the process with “your son looks more like you then your husband”.

“I am his foster mom”

“I am his step mom”

“There’s no biological aspects of me in him”

No, for me, the answer is usually just a smile and a “ya think so?” Explaining details isn’t a necessity. In this season of life, they are just my sons.

I was thinking about this today while I was driving to Best Buy to pick up my cell phone that somehow found its way out of a diaper bag while we were there last night (thanks to one of my “sons”, I am assuming … ;) ) I began thinking about our adoptive relationship with God and how He would never say about me “Oh her – that crazy girl; she’s adopted.” His answer would undoubtedly be “She’s MY daughter”, without shame, although I completely don’t deserve it. And what son or daughter doesn’t want to resemble their Father? I was reminded that the statement is a compliment and I should take it as nothing but.

Now all those people who try to solicit parenting advice or think we should be doing this or that … that’s a whole different ball of wax (& blog post probably) … (I mean really, do you have a special needs or foster or delayed or insert a billion other things here child? If so then we’ll talk. Seems everyone is the expert, no?). Someone once told me a story of a foster mom taking her older foster kids to Target and while being checked out at the line, one of the kids told the clerk … “My daddy is in jail”. The clerk gave an awkward glance to mom, who just smiled back at her. I remind myself of that story often. No words are necessary … just smile!

And for your reading enjoyment, I thought you’d want to know that I was put in time out last night. I am really not sure what for b/c I couldn’t understand what he was trying to say, but the timer was set and I got a talking to once my minute was up (I was actually enjoying the stillness). And I got the customary hug and “I love you” before getting up. 8-)

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