Friday, November 14, 2008

My Daddy hung the moon.

We often take walks around the neighborhood. And on those walks, if you ask Jx2 who hung the moon the response is always an unwavering …

“My Daddy hung the moon.”

In our attempts to correct, with the um, facts … that GOD hung the moon, we always find ourselves face to face with a toddler who will not reason. There are no questions about it to him, we are wrong, he is right. He is adamant about his answer. DADDY hung the moon.

There are the moments which to me represent more of a panic attack then a normal 2 or 3 year old tantrum. Because we don’t know the depth of what he has had to endure, we take them as they come. We’ve learned that the best way to calm him down from these attacks is do what we call a “time in”. We pull him close and huddle him in and calmly whisper loving words to him. One night recently something triggered him and he was in an utter panic. It took over a half hour to calm him down. I held him in my arms while he screamed and hit me and grabbed me and flayed his limbs all about in anger. I spoke to him about our love and told him we’d never leave him. I breathed slowly and loudly for him to help him steady his own practically hyper-ventilating breath. I repeated words of love over and over and told him it was okay to be sad and angry and that it was okay to cry. Eventually I saw the anger break, and in turn watched him cling to me like there was no tomorrow as he sobbed and sobbed out whatever it is that was inside him. Over time, we’ve noticed the words sink in more and more. This particular day he eventually, between intense sobs, asked me if I would sing to him.

I did.

I sang about Jesus.

In a matter of minutes he was asleep, snuggled in my chest.

I continued to sing, because in those moments I was reminded that I have God who longs for me to do the very the same. To take any anger, or confusion, or conflict, or sadness and come to Him. He’ll deal with my yelling and even my hitting, and all the while He will speak nothing but words of love to me. He will not anger at my flaying and my attempts to run away in fear. He will tell me how much He loves me and He will tell me that He will never leave me and He will tell me that it is okay to feel what I feel. I can snuggle up on His lap and nudge my head into His chest, knowing that my tears will be caught before they could ever reach the ground. And just as it hurts my heart to see my child have to deal with such things, I can know that God has the same compassion and heart for me. He’s not just this God who listens as I ramble through my trials. He is Father, my Abba, my Daddy. Because of that, I have the extreme advantage of being able to jump on His lap and ask Him to sing His sweet words of truth to me as I cling to Him. And He will. He’ll sing the sweetest songs to my soul, and I’ll be secure in His arms. He will keep me safe.

So the next time the little guy tells me that Daddy hung the moon, I don’t think I’ll argue.

Our Daddy did hang the moon.

And He is waiting for a “time in” with us.

"The Lord your God is with you; He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." - Zephaniah 3:17

4 comments:

  1. Oh my word, Traci, that was just amazing - beautifully expressed and written!

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  2. Absolutely beautiful post! Thank you so much for these words. I can hardly wait to adopt, and what you just described is...you are just amazing.

    As for the 5 AM club, could I have your e-mail? If you are comfortable with this, you can e-mail me from my blog.

    Blessings to you!

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  3. Not gonna lie, you ARE at a major disadvantage by not drinking coffee. :)

    I was a non-coffee gal myself until about a year ago (is it possible to have a coffee anniversary?) I was so sick of being tired all the time, and it was interfering with my day and my mornings with the Lord. I finally gave in and tried it...with yummy creamer of course, and it seriously changed my life! Sounds silly I know, but all these years I thought I was just lazy - turns out I was just tired!

    So, I encourage the addition of coffee...but be aware, it is a great temptress, for I have fallen in love...

    :)

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  4. Oh Tre,
    I love this. Thank you for this.

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