Tuesday, December 09, 2008

He binds up the broken hearted.

I'm supposed to be working on our youth play program, but instead I have been sitting here starting at a blank word document. I did my final homework assignment today; we were asked to write about a time when we had experienced a loss, listing the circumstances of the death and our current stage of the grief process. The class was human development, and it began with talks about birth, so I suppose it makes sense that it would end with a assignment about death. I obviously wrote about my girls, not realizing what the rest of the day would hold.

When I close my eyes I envision a dear friend of mine sitting on the floor with her heart in a billion different pieces spread out across whatever room she is in. Her husband died today. He died. I recently called her and asked what we could do for them, but I apparently had no idea what was to come. Our advent schedule yesterday was to cook a meal for someone and my first thought was her, but then I didn't get a chance to give her a call on Sunday, and then we were home sick after court yesterday, so I didn't follow through. And then I got jolted with this news. I looked at my husband and said "but he was supposed to be okay".

Kim is such an amazing woman - she is such a giver, someone who is always ACTING to care for others. She's the first one there when you need anything, the one going out of her way to make sure others needs are met. She's been that to us more times then I can count. I just stated this to Jason, and he said "They both were. They're pillars."

I just don't understand, as many of you don't. Those of you who are supporting her right now, and those who are trying to make sense of all this, and those of you who are grieving a good man. It's crazy how this stuff reminds us that the sense of control we pretend to have over our lives is very false.

As Jason and I sat and started at each other tonight, I was reminded that we can trust our Father to care for the hearts involved. He can take the hearts of the grieved and pick up each little piece and bind them together. He will hold them. I can trust him for that {rather then feeling anxious wanting to DO something and feeling heartbroken for a wife who said goodbye to her husband, far too early}. We can trust him for that.

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