Monday, March 16, 2009

Re-posted from pregnancy journal


The first words out of my mouth when I glanced over and saw the word pregnant staring me in the face are not words I’d want Jay to repeat.

I’ve been feeling off for awhile. All week last week I had to drag myself around, and I blamed the time change for my fatigue. I was moody. And everyone probably heard me say over and over “I am SO going to start my period tomorrow”. The weekend came, and with it an amazing relaxing vacation and weird headaches. Jason kept telling me I was dehydrated. We even googled heat exhaustion and headaches. Then Sunday night little miss Kelli B was sitting on my couch and made a comment about me getting pregnant which then put the idea in my head.

I woke up Monday morning still feeling awful, and on my way to the bathroom I decided to dig in the hall cabinet hoping to find an old pregnancy test. I did, and I tested – just so I could confirm I wasn’t pregnant and wouldn’t have the thought stuck in my head any longer. When I finally remembered I took the test and glanced over I was shocked.

I stomped into my bedroom and stuck the stick in my poor hubs face while yelling “BABE!”. Poor guy had no clue what was coming and after his eyes adjusted and he realized what he was staring at he popped up.

Don’t read this wrong. I want a baby. I am terrified of pregnancy. Simple as that.

So we made a few phone calls and had a talk with Jay and Andrew.

We went to the dr. and re-tested as well as got an urgent referral to a high risk OB.

Typically we don’t share the news so soon. However we are viewing this as an absolute miracle. Failed IF treatments, people who were completely content with life as it was, – and in love with the days we were living; taking precautions to not get pregnant. And under not so great circumstance, God breathes life. Amazing. What a disservice to NOT share and NOT ask you to be on your news for this cargo.

We have no idea where this path will take us, but we’re hopeful and trusting.

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