Thursday, April 15, 2010

We are the truth!

This information is re-posted (ie, copied almost word for word-only the names of the innocent have been changed) from Niki. Thanks for the info ladies!

We Are The Truth – An Adoption Blogger Day: To ensure the world knows about every successful adoption, on Thursday, April 15, 2010 blog about your adoption or the adoption of someone you know. It doesn’t matter if your adoption is with Russia, domestic or otherwise international. Let the world know your truth!

If you are here, you most likely know that our son Josiah was brought into our lives through the miracle of adoption. There are, of course, exceptions to the successful adoption story. But these are just that. Exceptions.

"We are the Truth" was begun after a little boy, Artyem, was adopted by a family in the United States and then "sent back" to Russia. It is important to understand that adoptive children have the same "percentage of problems" that biological children have. However, if an adopted child has issues it is "because he was adopted." Have you ever heard someone say, "Well, that child had a lot of problems but can you blame him? He was a biological child." Adoption becomes the "reason" even when it very well may not be. Biological parents abandon their children as well.

The outrageous treatment of Artyem by his adoptive family has rightfully resulted in outrage by the Governments of Russia and the United States and all who care about children. The tragedy has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems. The heartbreak of Artyem Saviliev’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption. Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage.

You, the community of adoptees, adoptive parents, adoptive grandparents, child welfare professionals and child advocates know that the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families. You know that families {um, like us!} who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child. You know that help is available, that solutions are found and that families can thrive. And you know that suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family.

You, the adoption community know the truth. You live the truth. You are the truth.

Join our campaign to bring the truth to light and help children in need find a permanent and safe family.

You can help! Please:

(1) Sign the letter to President Medvedev and President Obama: The letter asks both Presidents to ensure that intercountry adoption continues uninterrupted and to aggressively investigate and prosecute anyone involved in the abuse of children. You can sign anytime, but doing so before Tuesday night would help us get the letters to both Presidents before President Medvedev leaves the U.S. Click here to sign the letter.

(2) And then PLEASE consider linking to my blog from your blog. Tell the story of our adoption of Josiah or of your adoption or of another adoption you know of! Share how you have witnessed her life joining to our lives. Tell everyone who reads your blog that adoption is not what this ONE story has painted it to be. It is the exception NOT the rule.

Please help! We don't want children to be hurt by one family's mistake.

{personal note, not copied: as a family who has and is encountering difficulties it's important to me to look at all that Jay has endured; at what his first 2 years held ... and to think about how far he has come since joining our family. And I can't help but wonder what his life would be like if he were not with us. We are a family now, and the obstacles we will endure together. At the end of the day, my boy has the biggest heart in the world and loves Jesus so much!}

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous1:47 PM

    Your post has stayed with me. I was hoping I would not feel compelled to reply but because I have lived what I have lived, I cannot remain silent.
    Let me start by saying that I am a huge proponent of adoption. I know that God can craft families beautifully through this method, as He has in our home. He adopted us as His children and there are many times when He leads us to do the same. I feel strongly though, that adoption is a calling and not for every person or family. And it needs to be entered with awareness and truth.

    In your post, you stated that adopted children have "the same percentage of problems" as biological children. Perhaps this is true in infant adoption but children who have been severely neglected and abused for years have far different, deeper and more profound struggles than biological children that have not undergone abuse. The issue does not lie in whether or not a child is your blood relation but in the early experiences a child has encountered. Abuse, neglect and lack of attachment deeply affect brain development. It changes a child from the inside out. We have lived this first-hand. It has taken 8 years of love, patience, teaching, tears and excellent therapy to undo what was done to our eldest. The Lord has allowed us to see great fruit in her life in the last 12 months...His miracle. Though our second eldest does not share her sisters same struggles, she has her own adoption-related challenges. I have spent years learning about child development, attachment, adoption and related issues in order to help heal my children. The life the Lord has called us to lead has been incredibly difficult and one, at times, I would not have chosen. But God chose it for us and is blessing our family through love and obedience to Him.
    I felt compeled to write this today because unless someone had raised a child with Reactive Attachment disorder and other severe attachment issues, it is impossible to know what it is like. We must be very careful not to judge others who walk miles in these shoes daily. I am in no way justifying the actions of the woman who sent her son back to Russia. I do not know her story and find her actions to be very wrong and certainly punishable. But I think we are doing a disservice to so many adopting families by painting adoption to be as easy as parenting biological children. It is so different. I am madly in love with all four of my children, 2 adopted, 2 biological. But the needs of my eldest, given their early years, far outweigh the needs of my youngest.

    It is my deep desire to encourage adoption but with a FULL awareness of the challenges that adopted children face and the tools to face those challenges head-on. Families need to be fully equipped with fabulous therapists, a support system of others who have adopted and social workers who are not just in it for 6 months, but for as long as the family needs. Adoption can be amazing! I know that first-hand. But we need to equip families and support them so that this travesty toward this Russian boy never happens to another child again.
    Thanks for letting me share.