Tuesday, January 25, 2011

We’ll provide the drama.

Has the smell of hospital soap made your heart race so quickly you thought it might come out of your chest {your heart, not the soap!}? Or the thought of anyone dying made your stomach turn to the point of nearly puking?

You might have noticed {insert embarrassed shoulder shrug here}, but when one of my kids is physically not well {sick, accidents, etc} I sort of shut down the rest of the world and zone in on what’s at hand. I don’t do well with health issues and/or death. In fact, these situations previously caused me panic attacks, I was diagnosed with PTSD and went to therapy for a year … so to say I have minor fear issues is a tad of an understatement. Jason is pretty much on board with me here, and we’re very aware we tend to panic when things happen. We use Dr. Google far too much!

I can guarantee it began when we were standing in a mortuary trying to pick out a casket for a baby. Since then every tiny medical decision we make is weighed as if the outcome might be life or death {probably because it once was}. We’ve been trying to decide what it is we’re holding on to … guilt over the decisions that were once made, actions that weren’t taken quick enough --- or is it a trust issue? As my hubs put it this week …. “I believe God can do anything, but will He do it for me?”

So, when Drew is in surgery or Josiah has {another} bloody unicorn bump on his head or Ella has {another} eye rolling incident to which the doctors say “may or may not be seizures” … well, we shut out other things and become selfish. You might say … “that’s okay”, but I think we’re at a point where we realize it’s not.

We’ve been studying about our right to have hope in God. We’re starting to realize that maybe it’s not about trusting God for the circumstances {"It’ll be okay because I know God will do this for me"}, but trusting God for His character {"It’ll be okay because no matter how awful it gets I know He will be holding me"}. Ugly things are happening all around us and not a one of us is safe from suffering. In fact, we should be honored to be granted a share of it. God often uses difficulty and suffering to complete his good work in us. We live in a fallen world where we will suffer, but it doesn’t need to be in vain - in our weakness He is made strong.

It’s not okay to look at something awful and say “Oh, it was God’s will, blah, blah”. Because somewhere someone involved is hurting and suffering and those emotional needs to be met. Compassion is a trait we see in Jesus over and over. So what can we offer? Hope!

God CAN and DOES still perform miracles, however he does not want us to prioritize what He can do over who He is. Mark 9:23 tells us that we ALWAYS have a right to hope that God can do anything ….

Our fear is because of our hurt … we have chosen to see with our own eyes and ears over the word of God. We need to seek God primarily to find Him, not to see him perform.

Here’s another fear: The deeper we love God the deeper the potential for devastation when he doesn’t intervene like we know he can.

We have the right to hope for miracles when we need them. But we also have to trust that God is working everything out for a greater good when things don’t go our way.

In Matthew 11 Jesus says “And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me”. Have you been offended? Jesus says if we have been in a situation where we could have been offended in Him, but choose not to be then we will be blessed!

My friends, God cares so much more about you knowing the Healer then he does about the actual healing! Isn’t there such comfort in that?

It’s all about learning to let go … and claiming our HOPE.

{and while we're hoping and praying, let's add JoAnne to our list}.


  1. wow, so much to think about. I just went to read Joanne's blog. Kinda puts things in a different perspective.

  2. (((Traci))) I love how you expressed your heart and what you have been thorough. I echo so much of what you have said, so much about our own journey through faith and grief shows us how important it is to KNOW Him, not just to want from Him. Thanks for sharing this!