Friday, April 29, 2011

Maybe God is punishing you and that’s why you can’t have a baby.


    

Ouch.


I’ve heard similar.

Maybe God doesn’t want you to have kids. Maybe the babies you’ve lost had something “wrong” with them {they didn’t} and that’s why God took them. Maybe God is trying to teach you something. Maybe there is sin in your life that needs to be resolved before you’ll get pregnant. Maybe you’re not good enough to be parents … actually, I don’t recall anyone ever saying those particular words, but I think all of the above makes you feel like you’re hearing that last one.

Infertility is a disease. To the people involved it feels like: An unworking body. A worthless uterus. An incompetent cervix. {Yes, that is a term I must fill out on all insurance forms I will ever complete for the rest of my life}. Call it want you want, but it is an awful disease that does not discriminate against age, religion, sex {men can be infertile too!}, etc. No, it is not life threatening … but it is life altering, it is hope stealing, it is heart shattering.

Would you tell a person with Downs that they are being punished for some sin?

I didn’t think so.

On the other side of it all I can tell you that God did in fact teach me a whole mess of beautiful heart wrenching lessons while I was popping Clomid pills and picking out caskets for my babies. Because of His sweet grace I was able to emerge stronger and deeper. But He did not cause my journey as a form of punishment. He was not holding back because I was a “sinner” or undeserving. He was the same then as He is today … and that my friends, is Good.

There are many options for couples facing infertility. Thankfully, it is not such a silent topic anymore. There are medical treatments and avenues outside of pregnancy that can lead to the road of parenthood. None of the options are easy or guaranteed.

If you happen to cross paths with someone on the road of loss or infertility … my advice: don’t offer ignorant platitudes. I know it’s uncomfortable for you, but it’s also painful for the person who’s enduring the circumstances set before them. Just offer a hug, a prayer, or a simple I’m sorry. As my friend Thelma recently stated … compassion does not need understanding.

Another myth: standing on your head after sex doesn’t work either. It’s been tried. 


      
It’s National Infertility Week. If you or someone you know is enduring the disease of Infertility take the Break A Myth challenge and share your heart!

6 comments:

  1. Beautiful! I snorted at the 'standing on the head' comment!

    'On the other side of it all I can tell you that God did in fact teach me a whole mess of beautiful heart wrenching lessons...'
    Oh yes, yes He did! And I'm so grateful for all He's taught me on this road!

    ReplyDelete
  2. and if I wasn't stressed maybe I might get pregnant. Thanks Traci for being your testimony

    ReplyDelete
  3. love it, Traci. Thanks for saying it so well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "I can tell you that God did in fact teach me a whole mess of beautiful heart wrenching lessons while I was popping Clomid pills and picking out caskets for my babies. Because of His sweet grace I was able to emerge stronger and deeper. But He did not cause my journey as a form of punishment. He was not holding back because I was a “sinner” or undeserving. He was the same then as He is today … and that my friends, is Good."

    {{{{hug}}}}
    Beautiful, sweet friend! I've got to share you link on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful Traci. Just beautiful!

    ReplyDelete